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I better get the ball rolling on thissssssssss…..
There’s some other things I need to take care of too. Midterms, finals, projects, signing up for classes.

Let’s make this the best summer!

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…to follow through on the things I’ve planned. I’m finding it hard to set aside time for the things I want to do because of annoying things I’m forced to do. Must I try harder? I guess in the end its just a question of will.

Just got to get rid of things faster.

“If you can’t fly, then grow wings.”

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One Day I Will

One day i will make enough to buy all the things that I would want… ever! But that day isn’t today. Anyways, I am currently looking for:

1. Some nice ass headphones. After all, music = life. Right now I’m thinking something similar to SONY MDR F1’s or the SkullCandy Ti’s

SONY MDR-F1

SONY MDR-F1

SkullCandy DJ Ti

SkullCandy DJ Ti

2. A nice guitar. I’d prefer nylon string ones, but I guess an acoustic can do. No particular types in mind.

3. SNSD, Big Bang, Wonder Girls Posters! One of those Big Bang headphone hoodies, as well as the animal eared hoodie Daesung wore in Family Outing Taeyeon Episode, which I can’t find a picture for.

BB HOODIE

BB HOODIE

4. This Doraemon hoodie

Who doesnt love Doraemon?

Who doesn't love Doraemon?

5. The Samsung Anycall Haptic phone.

Anycall Haptic

Anycall Haptic

A good $1000 should cover all these items. I imagine it will be a while before I get all of the things on this list.

But as I said, one day I will be able to buy everything I want.

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I’ve wanted a dog for the longest time ever, but never was really sure if I could find the time to take care of it. Recently a friend of mine got a dog, which she wanted me to take care for the rest of the quarter her often since she had school (the pup was still in the training phase, so I got a little taste of how it was like to train and housebreak a pup).

Taking care of the pup made me want a pup even more, and so I got to researching breeds. I’ve decided that I would like to have a snow pomeranian pup. They stay quite small and are very loyal, plus they can get used to being around the house most of the time. However, those pups run quite pricey, so I was considering other breeds, until I saw Kangin’s Pomeranian, which made me firmly decide I’d like that type of dog. For now, I’m thinking of a unique name for the dog.

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Welcome to 2009

New years represents quite a significant time for a lot of people. For many it’s like an opportunity to turn over a new leaf. Everyone is excited about making resolutions and changes to their life that they believe will keep them sailing smoothly for the rest of the year. Yet many people never really do fulfill those resolutions; they never work off those few cumbersome pounds, or implement a beneficial change into their schedule. It’s kind of silly to believe that New Year’s Day is enough for us to completely reformat our lifestyles to our liking, while neglecting the other days of the year. Perhaps it’s partly because during this day we are reminded to reflect on the past year, sort of like an end of the cycle where everyone looks back. Nonetheless, if a day is enough, we can be constantly improving ourselves daily. Easier said than done, though, since sooner or later we fall into routine-coma and end up reliving our daily schedules again. Therefore this year, I am going to outline a general direction for change. Little goals along the way will ensure that they will not become just another New Year’s resolution failure.

One of my resolutions is to be more fit and active.(Too much focus on school. I’m depriving myself of my own self, my own character, who I want to be. I do not wish to be a scholar. They are so boring. What else can they do other than hold a witty conversation?) What does this mean? Getting the washboard and having more control over my body. You’d be surprised to realize how stiff everyday people are. Even if you’re athletic, can you really move any part of yourself to your liking? Dance. I wanna try that.

I think people should be more multidirectional. We should be well-rounded and have a wide scope of abilities and skills. The little things add up and who knows where they will help you. The larger your toolkit- the more handy of a man you are =]]  There are no real goals here. As long as I am either doing something new or improving something, I will be able to meet this year’s end with smiles.

We all break down sometimes, have our hard times, and sometimes we act out in ways that we wish we haven’t. We’ve hurt some people, angered some people, and done some stupid things. How many times have we had to say sorry this past year? This year I will be more considerate, tolerant, and caring. Of course there are those cases where you shouldn’t be any more tolerant.

Why haven’t I mentioned school? Who needs to make resolutions about school. Just study and do better. GE is stupid and many of the classes are useless. There is no need to have passion in school. Wait for your major classes.

As a final word of thought, I would like to wish everyone a prosperous year. Less frowns and more smiles.

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Aznv.Tv radio jjang!!

A while back I created an account on aznv.tv because my friend told me it was a good site to watch streamed asian dramas and movies. At first it was like whatever, I watched some stuff on their, and it was alright. But then one day, they changed the whole design of the site, and now were limiting subscribers to the previous ones. New users would need to be invited by old members, and there were limited invites. The coolest part though, was the new stream radio that they set up. It plays all these pretty recent music and lotsa korean =]

I likes. Jjang!

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Sometimes there’s things that come to you so easily, to the point where there is no explanation other than luck. Other times there are things that can only be achieved with countless effort. Then there are those times where even endless effort brings no fruit.

I think that’s the biggest pain of all; when all of your effort, concern, and care are not enough. I think we as humans are, more or less, influenced by our experiences as well as those we witness. While seeing success after success, and success despite hardship, can be extremely motivating, seeing countless failures can also bring some discouragement. I find that this theory of influence falls quite relevant in the world of love and emotion.

I once witnessed a friend who, despite countless efforts of concern, and having conditions in his favor, failed to move the girl. Surprised was what came to my mind. I was amazed at the amount of concern and care he had for her, and I was pretty sure no other guy had done better. Yet she ended up being interested in me. However she didn’t realize that I was not the one to betray a friend; despite my distance and effort to help my friend, he never did succeed in winning her heart. She was just as tough as he was; neither would give up on their emotions. Some time passed and I leaned towards being interested in someone else. Ironically, she was as hard for me to read as for my friend to read the other girl. I didn’t know whether or not she was interested in me, or whether it was one of those games girls play, but I decided that I did not want risk the possibility of wander down my friend’s path, so I ended up choosing to let fate decide the course.

The irony in this was the general circle of events. My best friend had someone who had feelings for him, who he refused to turn back to, and was interested in this girl who was interested in someone else, and too refused to turn back. With me at the end, I too refused to turn back, and wondered if I kept on pursuing this girl, would I find that she was interested in me, or whether it was yet another continuation of this discouraging yet persistent cycle. As my best friend and I were talking, I began to think what if those who didn’t achieve what they wanted turned back and considered the feelings that were given to them. Less people would be hurt right? After all I did think the same thing; that if she had just stopped and looked back, she would realize how much my friend cared for her. Then I realized that she could make the same argument. If I had accepted her feelings, then there wouldn’t be a problem. But I knew for a fact that I would not do so, even though I wasn’t interested in anyone at the moment.  We were all the same, stubborn. Since no one was taken, there was no reason to give up. In my case, I knew I favored working hard for things that seemed unachievable, and in the world of emotions, I was no different.

This all made me think even more, about how sometimes life gives you things you don’t need so easily, the very same things that others toil for and never achieve, yet the very things you desire are at a seemingly impossible distance. I was troubled for a long time; this person who had feelings for me, I did not want them, yet instead desired those of someone else. I was angry at the fact that I had what I did not need, something someone else wanted, effortlessly, and yet what i desired came easily to others. They say that one man’s junk is another’s treasure. And so I found myself wishing there were some kind of way where we could trade what we had no use for, like how things are ebay and craigslist. But emotions are not things. They are untradeable, and only hold value to those who desire it.

You can say that I tend to hold on to unrealistic desires and dreams. I’ve considered what if  just gave up on those dreams and desires? I would live easier wouldn’t I? But I would still be left with a feeling of unsatisfaction. It seems that giving them up is even harder than living without them attained.

So in the end, we shouldn’t be sad that what comes to us are things we don’t need or that what doesn’t come to us are what we do need. We should just learn to live with our stubbornness or put our efforts in ending those desires.

I guess I can be forever labeled the stubborn type. Unrealistic dreams keep me happy, hopeful, and keep me going, so I continue to pursue them.

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